Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mini-van = Mega-fun!

I have some news to share with you (my 5 followers). I have reached "a-whole-nother level" (Randy Jacksonism) of parenting.

Vince bought me a minivan!! True love "fo-sho" don't you think?

Seriously though, it was a lengthy well thought-out decision. It meant me giving up any possibility that another man was going to ever check me out while driving, and gaining the opportunity to have other moms checkin' me out. And I must admit, I like the turn of events this has brought on. Guys dig me...other moms wanna BE me! LOL

We started looking at vans in April and then by May decided they cost too much money and the Escape was good enough for a women of average to high needs, such as myself. We had room for the dog in the way back and plenty of cabin space so that everyone in the vehicle could huff her nasty, rank, dog breath. If we gave the girls snacks the dog was sure to be able to scarf down at least half of Annaka's and whatever of Brielle's she wanted to relinquish. We had the strap-on dual screen DVD players so that the kids could feasibly watch movies and shut the @#$% up while we were driving. Except, after purchasing our 4th set of these puppies we still had not mastered the art of getting them to stay connected to the seats, nor had we gotten used to the amount of volume necessary to deafen the ears of the front seat passengers while still allowing the rear seat passengers to audibly hear the dialogue of Sesame Street. Additionally, the main screen which contained all the controls of said DVD player were on Brielle's side, which allowed her to switch off (or raise the volume of)any movie at any given time. Furthermore, if out of necessity we had to allow the dog to accompany us on a trip we had to use the cabellas car topper to carry our luggage. Lemme tell you how easy that sucker is to attach...alone...with a 120 lb. dog and 2 screaming kids running around. Why not do it the night before while kids and dog are asleep? Because it is dark out there people!

Then reality hit along with the end of summer.

So now, with a third on the way and no backseat space available for a car seat, we explored some other options. We settled on a van for price and space. We test drove all the new vans out there...Toyota, Honda, Dodge, Chystler...and finally concluded we liked the Honda the best. After all, it offered the most luxury features of all the vans and if I close my eyes (while parked of course!) I can imagine it is a tiny cute Mercedes sports car I am driving with heated seats and great sound system.

So a 2006 white Honda Odyssey is finally ours! I do like it. We have a sun roof, a 6 disc changer, leather seats, power everythings, room for 8 to ride not including the dog who has her own semi-private quarters behind 3rd row seating, and most impressively we have the DVD player with wireless headphones! We have not heard a word from the girls with these! For whatever reason they feel so privileged to each have their own set of headphones that they quietly watch whatever is playing and never argue. We have yet to hear them while driving. This feature alone was worth the purchase of the van.

Go ahead and tell me how jealous you are...unless you are one of the wiser-than-I and had the foresight to purchase your family van long before necessity time.

Friday, October 9, 2009

A new standard is set

Today has been so busy and its barely past 2pm! This morning I spent 29 minutes on hold for the pedicatricians office to get an appointment for Brielle. Then I spent 17 minutes on hold with my PCM to get and appointment for myself. By that time it was 45 minutes until I had to be at my appointment and I still needed a shower after yesterday mornings weight-lifting class. ( I know! Gross! Save your stinky comments, I am already aware of my current lethargy in personal grooming.) I manage to shower, dress both girls --with matching shoes, brush some mascarea on my lashes and even put a barrett in my hair. Brielle packed her packpack with books and candy and we were in the car and on time to our first appt at my doctors office.

First stop: My Doctors Office. Girls were good. We arrive and as the girls are getting out of the car and scampering up the walkway, Annaka trips. She scuffs up her little pudgey knee pretty good. "Yoook!! Dares bah-ludd on ma booboo!" I'm nervous this will taint all my previous efforts to make the busy morning go smoothy. We make it into the office and sit down. Brielle and I search for Tinkerbell fairies in her little book she brought while my youngest eats grapes from her lunch box. We get called in and wait in the exam room. Brielle compliments me on how good I do opening my mouth for the lady with the stick. Annaka spilled a few grapes in the exam room and revisited the need to whine about her scraped knee, which prompted 'momma Brielle' to produce a blue lollipop, from her bag of tricks, to calm her little sister. I do love it when they love each other! I have a nasty sinus infection, and pretty much the only safe meds during pregnancy are water and more water. However, I was given a perscription for an antibiotic "that should be Ok". I packed up my entourage and marched out. So far, so good. We re-examine a bright green dragon fly on the way back to the car and decide that he hasn't moved since we arrived, that he was dead. Brielle wanted to take him home and keep him, but I had to veto that. 1 hour down.

Next stop: Target Pharmacy. Seriously, where else can you get free popcorn (that is pretty tasty!) and great Halloween treats while waiting. Perscription gets dropped off, we get our popcorn and pay for some slushees. We roll through Halloween aisle with the huge double seater cart that he girls selected as their "house". They paw through all the costumes deciding what they will be this year. (I didn't remind them that they both already have costumes at home. Why spoil their good fun?) Annaka wants to be Abby Cadabby and Brielle wants to be a dragon. Hmmm...let me not try to evaluate the meaning behind these choices. We select a pumpkin nightlight for their room as a compromise for leaving their choice costumes until they go on sale, after Halloween. Now its time to get the meds we need and move out. We spend an all-time-low of $18 at Target and continue onto the pediatrician. Girls were great. I am a very proud Momma!! Another hour down.

Next stop: Pediatrician's Office. Brielle decides to leave her backpack in the car, but that they should each bring their babydolls into the office. I forget to sign in and we wait about 10 minutes before I realize my error. Oopps. Brielle's name is called and we are shown to an exam room. The nurse takes a strep culture and Brielle seriously spits on the poor girl. Those Q-tips were really long! We wait in an 8 by 8 ft room for about 45 minutes for the doctor to arrive on the scene. I have used up every "find this in the magazines" that I could and we had used the bathroom and washed our hands twice. The girls are getting really restless and hungry by now. Me too, I might add. The popcorn and slushees we had at Target were small and apparently not very filling. Annaka has unrolled almost the entire roll of exam-table-paper, and Brielle is playing bumper cars with the wall and the doctors rolly stool. I can't imagine what it sounded like to the staff on the other side of the closed door. Annaka finds a pen in my purse and colors the exam table and her leg before I realize what is happening. (She was quiet, and I was busy winning Simon says against Brielle.) The doc comes in. Strep test is negative. Brielle gets another little exam, and the diagnosis is that she has post-nasal drainage. No meds needed, a coolmist humidifier, and propped up sleeping position is recommended. Great. I start packing up. Then the doc mentions they have flu shots available if I want the girls to have them. I say yes, we will take them. Afterall, I wanted to get someting accomplished after this grueling 45 minute wait. She leaves, and it takes the nurse another 30 minutes to come back with the shots! At this point I was exhausted, and feeling a little like a prisoner in that tiny room with 2 girls and no toys. I have briefed Brielle about the shot. She does not want it. I didn't waste time trying to explain to Annaka, she would follow Brielle's lead I knew. When the nurse arrives, I ask Brielle to go first and remind her that if she does not throw a fit she can have her choice of lunch menus. She is brave initially, then the second nurse begins to hug/hold her and she gets nervous. As soon as the nurse begins to insert the needle she jerks her arm and breaks the needle off. Oopps! Since there is a little scrape across her upper arm, they give her a bandaid with bunnies on it and all is good. She thinks she is done. Not so. To get her to take the shot in the second arm was a little trickier. She cried a little, until she saw the shiney silver star shaped bandaid she was getting over her injection site. Ahhh, God bless girly vanity! Now it was Annaka's turn. She strips off her shirt and announces she is a big girl. I am impressed. Her shot is adminstered without even a flinch from her little precious body. While they are applying her star bandaid she turns to me and says " I did-int cwwy. I a big guurrl." I was really surprised. Even Brielle had to ask " Did Annaka get the same shot as me?" Finally, we are leaving. The girls take great pride in selecting their stickers on the way out and we are on our way to lunch.

Next Stop: Dairy Queen. Brielle orders a cookie dough blizzard for lunch with nothing else. Annaka chooses ice cream with lots of sprinkles. I order a cheeseburger combo. Just a note to all of you , who- like me were unaware, Dairy Queen makes crappy food but fabulous ice cream. I think the girls enjoyed their lunches. I did not. Brielle is quick to add that every time we get shots we should have ice cream as our next meal. I am afraid a standard has been set. We will trade-off good nutrition for projected good health in vaccines. Oh well. Worse decisions have certainly been made by this mom.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Everything stinks...literally!

I think most of you know how much I loathed my previous 2 pregnancies, and now here I go again. I LOVE the end product of this mandadted torture but, where I am now, it's hard! And right now I have the sharpest sense of smell of anyone known to womankind. This is not a virtue. Especially since I think EVERYTHING stinks (except baby ruth candy bars and gummi bears)! I cannot wash the dishes becuase I think the soap smells terrible and let me not even mention the smell of food. If I managed to cook it, it smells double disgusting!

Today was not a good day. I drove 4 hours back home this morning with the girls. The entire trip I was fighting nausea as we soar through "shortcuts" and mountainous highway terrain. Then, I get severe stomach cramps that would rival any menstrual cramps I have ever experienced. Both my precious offspring are argueing over whose turn it is to pick the DVD to watch, and which one would get the last cold chicken nugget (which stank up the entire car). I am sure these 4 hours will never be over.

Finally, we make it home and immediately I think the dog is reeking up the entire house with her nasty breath and all-over doggie odor. The washcloth at the sink stinks like tuna and garlic (the number one & two offensive aromas). The entire house smells like vomit, and I do not know why since Vince was the only one here for the past 4 days and I know he did not vomit. The day is not shaping up to be any better than it started. I give Annaka yogurt for lunch and put her down for her nap. Brielle and I have ham and cheese sandwiches and cheetos. After 2 bites I decide my ham has taken on a funky smell and feed it to the stinky dog lurking by my feet. Poor Brielle has to endure my constant nasuea and nasty crankiness. All I wanna do while Annaka is sleeping is lie down. Brielle never allows this to happen willingly no matter what I promise later or what threat is given. Can't blame her for being 4 and unsympathetic, although at 2 this afternoon I laid into my poor unsuspecting firstborn. I screamed so loud my throat still hurts and was sure I was going to heave with all that effort. After I get a grip and sit down to cry it out, Brielle comes over very quietly and sits next to me. I hug her and tell her how sorry I am. Without missing a beat she tells me that next time I want to yell I have to go out into the garage, if I want to use my outside voice when Annaka is resting.

I am so grateful when Vince gets home. He volunteers to take the girls to the playground and Taco Bell. Brielle wears her white shirt that she used as a napkin previously for her cheeto-fingers at lunch and then dribbled blue Kool-aid on. Annaka wears a purple polka dot skirt and a bright orange hula shirt. She gets her own shoes on and selects one pink and one black shoe to compliment her outfit. As I sit and witness their departure from the couch, I silently pray no one will recognize them as my children while they are out. And let me be truthful right now with myself, why was I praying for that and not an end to this constant all day ridiculous sickness?!

My house still stinks, and I am not sure how I will survive these next few weeks eating only minuature candy bars and gummi bears.

Monday, September 14, 2009

politician or criminal...something sneaky

Brielle amazes me everyday, sometimes this is good and sometimes not so good. This afternoon while sweet, precious, tired, Annaka was napping, I decided to online-register my girls for some Parks and Rec activities. An art class for Annaka and an inflatables jumping hour for both of my girls. I am excited about the prospects and future fun to be had. So, I momentarily forget that Brielle is probably not still coloring at the kitchen table where I left her. Soon I hear tape ripping and I call out to my most intuitive 4 yr old "what are you doing?" A reply is given. "I am opening this package for you!" Since I had not recieved any packages I immediately paused (NOT jumped outta my seat as was probably called for) and thought. Then I hear more ripping and cutting. Now, I decide, it is time to investigate. There is crafty little Brielle holding a cell phone I do not recognize saying how she has helped me. I suddendly lose my patience when I realize what has happened. My neighbor had given me a package to drop in the mail and Brielle took the liberties of ripping it open for me. Brielle gets a time out and is screaming so loudly she wakes precious, tired Annaka (who dutifully went back to sleep after a few pats on the back) adn I tell Brielle if she wants to continue screaming she has to go into the garage. She goes. She screams. I read Parents magazine and enjoy my time out. Soon it is quiet in the garage but she does not come back inside. I wait. I dream of the possibility of her falling asleep on the hard concrete of the garage. She finally re-emerges....with a bag of cookies (I previously told her she was not allowed to have) and a devious little smirk on her crumb covered face. She one-upped me, what can I say. She certainly sees opportunities where I do not. I am not sure what Brielle's future holds but she'll be sneaky someplace. Hopefully for the forces of good, not evil.

After Annaka was fully rested we headed to Wal-Mart for groceries. I printed Brielle a list of everything we needed with clip-art pictures and all caps words. Her job was to check of everything as we put it in the cart. We did get everything. However, I was not so good about monitoring the quality of the items being selected, mainly produce. I got home with the 6 apples the girls selected and every single on is very badly bruised. YUCK! My lettuce is a little rotten, our bananas are totally green and the bread is completely squished complete with Annaka-sized finger divets. Oh well, we did get everything. This weeks first trip to Wal-Mart is done.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Both of my precious girls are lying wounded on the floor of their room, screaming so hard I think they may be actually struggling for air. The reason? I asked those pretty little things to clean up their room, which was a total disaster, and they refused. Since I have still not recieved a paycheck to clean this place, I know I am not the clean-up crew. I decided to try out a strategy that has come highly recommended in Parents magazine. So I got a trash bag and threw out all the toys that were on the floor. A side Note: I also paid for all those toys and still recall how much I paid for some, so I am not actually throwing them away. However, both girls are immediately immobilized by the fact that I am trashing their toys, and they sit and scream on the bed and watch me continue. Neither was motivated to help, or try to save any of their favorite toys by initiating a clean up. Parents Magazine does not say where to go from here. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

New to this

So, got turned onto here by a good friend. But I have no idea what I am doing. Myspace was hard to learn for me, facebook is totally easy, this is hard again. So that is why there is a totally huge picture of my butt in a not so flattering bikini on here. I need to find the tutorial on this site, but since I don't seem to have any viewers yet, I think I am good. LOL

Girls First trip to the Dentist

Took the girls for their first dental visit to day. It was great. If you like crazy. Brielle actually did pretty well. She was excited to get her new toothbrush and little floss dino. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that her diagnoses of 2 cavities gets her a future visit where there will be no new brush or floss, maybe a sticker though. Annaka....acted like the finicky little 2 year old she is. We had to jump through all her hoops to get her to open her precious mouth at all. I was ready to pry her little jaws open when suddenly Annaka wiggles free and announces her preference. "I wont Beee-elle wook at mah tee-ff!" So that is how it went down. The dentist inspected Annaka's tiny teeth over top of our 4 year olds messy pigtails. I am not sure why Annaka has such a strong allegiance to Brielle, since Brielle calls all the shots and gives all the orders. I would think Annaka would get sick of playing the submissive little sister, but as of now, that has not happened even one time. Whatever works! Today I was glad for the role Brielle plays in our family. Otherwise we would never know that Annaka is still growing teeth in the back of her mouth.